为您找到与幽默搞笑英语笑话带翻译 英语笑话大全相关的共200个结果:
笑话在人们的日常生活中起着重要放松方式,下面读文网小编为大家带来幽默搞笑英语短笑话附翻译,欢迎大家阅读!
One afternoon while I was talking to a professor,my two-year-old daughter, Lily wandered into a nearby classroom. There was a math class in progress and,to my dismay,Lily sat down in the front row.
一天下午,当我和一位教授谈话时,我两岁的女儿莉莉走进了旁边的一间教室。教室正在上数学课,使我惊愕的是,莉莉进去在第一排坐下了。
When I went in to get her, the instructor stopped me. "Young lady,”he said,“I have been teaching calculus at this college for over 20 years. In that time,not once has anyone come to my class just he or she wanted to. The child may stay.”’
当我进去想把她弄出来时,讲课的教师拦住了我。“夫人,”他说,“我在这所大学里教微积分已经二+几年了。在这段时间里从没有人自愿来听我的课。让孩子待在这吧。”
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笑话在人们的日常生活中起着重要放松方式,下面读文网小编为大家带来搞笑幽默英语笑话附翻译,希望大家喜欢!
On the way home after watching a ballet performance, the kindergarten teacher asked her students what they thought of it. The smallest girl in the class said she wished the dancers were taller so that they wouldn't have to stand on their toes all the time.
看完芭蕾舞表演,幼儿园的老师在回家的路上问她班里的孩子们感觉怎么样。班里最小的一个女孩说,她希望演员们个子再高点就好了,这样就不用蹈着脚跳了。
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多阅读一些有趣的英语笑话,能激起我们阅读英语的兴趣,从而提高英语的阅读能力,今天读文网小编在这里为大家分享英语搞笑笑话10篇,欢迎大家阅读!
The ability of the Kangaroo
The zoo built a special eight-foot-high enclosure for its newly acquired kangaroo, but the next morning the animal was found hopping around outside. The height of the fence was increased to 15 feet, but the kangaroo got out again. Exasperated, the zoo director had the height increased to 30 feet, but the kangaroo still escaped. A giraffe asked the kangaroo, "How high do you think they'll build the fence?" "I don't know, " said the kangaroo. "Maybe a thousand feet if they keep leaving the gate unlocked.
袋鼠的能力
动物园为刚引进的袋鼠建了一个特殊的八英尺高的围墙。但是第二天早上,人们发现这动物在围墙外面蹦跳着。于是围墙高度增加到十五英尺,但袋鼠还是跑了出来。动物园经理甚感恼火,又叫人把围墙高度加到三十英尺,但袋鼠还是逃了出来。一个长颈鹿问袋鼠:“你认为他们会把围墙建到多高?” “我不知道,”袋鼠说,“如果他们继续开着大门,可能要修到一千英尺吧。”
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下面是读文网小编整理的英语笑话大全,欢迎大家阅读!
Our physics professor was struggling to draw the class into discussion of Archimede's principle of water displacement. He told us that Archimede noticed that when he got into a pool at the public bathhouse, the water rose spilling over the edge. Excited at his discovery, he ran down the street yelling, "Eureka, eureka!" The instructor asked if anyone knew what that meant.
One student stood up and answered, "I'm naked ! I'm naked!"
我们的物理教授千方百计引导我们讨论阿基米德的排水原理。他告诉我们阿基米德去公共浴池洗澡,他进入池子,发现水涨高了,溢出池沿。他对这一发现十分激动,跑到街上高叫:“Eureka,Eureka!”教授问我们谁知道他喊的是什么意思。
一个学生站起来答道:“我光屁股啦,我光屁股啦!”
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学习英语,阅读真的很重要,多阅读一些简单的英语笑话也是提高英语阅读能力的一种,下面读文网小编在这里整理了一些经典英语搞笑笑话大家,希望大家会喜欢这些英语笑话!
I had been doing Tech Support for Hewlett-Packard's DeskJet division for about a month when I had a customer call with a problem I just couldn't solve. She could not print yellow. All the other colors would print fine, which truly baffled me because the only true colors are cyan, magenta, and yellow. I had the customer change ink cartridges,delete and reinstall the drivers. Nothing worked. I asked my coworkers for help; they offered no new ideas. After over two hours of troubleshooting, I was about to tell the customer to send the printer in to us for repair when she asked quietly, "Should I try printing on a piece of white paper instead of yellow paper?"
我在惠普公司打印机部做技术支持工作已经有一个月了,有一天我接到一位客户的电话,她的问题我没办法解决。她的问题是:打印机不能打出来黄色,但是其它颜色都正常。这让我觉得很纳闷,因为三原色就是蓝、红、黄。我建议客户更换墨盒、删了驱动程序然后重新安装,但是都没有效果。我咨询同事们,他们也不知道该怎么办。经过两个多小时的交涉,我打算让客户把打印机寄给我们,这时候她平静地说了一句:“我是不是应该把这张黄纸扔了换一张白纸再打印试试。”
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笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来幽默搞笑英语笑话带翻译,欢迎大家阅读!
幽默搞笑英语笑话1:
My youngest brother, Tony, had just completed basic training and was home on leave prior to his first tour in Germany. Since I was an Army National Guard pilot and my another brother was my crew chief, we offered to take Tony to catch his transport overseas.
When we landed at Air Force Base, several of Tony's fellow privates came out to greet him. Tony ran ahead, while my another brother and I followed with his gear. As Tony approached hisbuddies, he was bewildered(困惑的) by their dumbfounded(目瞪口呆的) stares.
Finally, he realized his friends weren't seeing his two brothers giving him a lift, they were seeing a new private arrive in his own helicopter -- with his captain and sergeant carrying his bags!
我最年幼的弟弟托尼刚刚完成基本训练,在进行第一次德国之行前请假回家。我是国民警卫队的飞行员,我的另一个弟弟是我们部门的长官,我们提出去送托尼。
当我们在空军基地降落时,托尼的几个士兵朋友出来迎接他。托尼跑在前面,而我和另一个弟弟提着他的衣物跟在后面。当托尼跑向他的伙伴时,他们目瞪口呆的神情让托尼很是疑惑。
最后,他意识到,他的朋友看到的不是他的两个哥哥在给他提行李,他们看到的是一个新兵从他自己的直升机走下来,身后跟着给他提行李的队长和士兵。
幽默搞笑英语笑话2:
One day a boy came to his teacher and said: "Teacher, pa wants to know if you like roast pig."
"I certainly do," said the teacher, "and you tell your father he is very kind to think of me."
Days passed, and nothing more was said about the roast pig.
Finally the teacher said to the boy: "I thought your father was going to send me over some roast pig."
"Yes," said the boy, "He did intend to, but the pig got well."
一天有个男孩去对他老师说:“老师,我爸想知道你是不是爱吃烤猪肉。”
“当然罗,”老师说,“去告诉你父亲,多谢他想着我。”
好几天过去了,再没提起考猪肉的事儿。
最后老师对男孩说:“我以为你父亲要给我送点烤猪肉来呢。”
“是啊,”孩子说,“他是这么想的,可后来猪又没病了。”
幽默搞笑英语笑话3:
Hanging in the hallway at Whites High School in Wabash, Ind., and the basketball team pictures from the past 40 years. A player in the center of the front row in each picture holds a basketball identifying the year - "62-63", "63-64", "64-65", etc.
One day I spotted a freshman looking curiously at the photos. Turning to me, he said, "Isn't it strange how the teams always lost by one point?"
位于印第安那州瓦巴西的怀兹中学,其门厅里悬挂着过去四十年间样篮球队的照片。每幅照片前排中间的队员举着一个篮球,上面标明年份-“62-63”,“63-64”,“64-65”等等。
一天,我看到一个新生很困惑地看着照片。他朝我转过身来,说道:“多奇怪呀,这些队都是以一分之差输掉的!"
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从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来搞笑幽默英语笑话带翻译,欢迎大家阅读!
When George was thirty-five, he bought a small plane and learned to fly it. He soon became very good and made his plane do all kinds of tricks.
George had a friend. His name was Mark. One day George offered to take Mark up in his plane. Mark thought, "I've travelled in a big plane several times, but I've never been in a small one, so I'll go."
They went up, and George flew around for half an hour and did all kinds of tricks in the air.
When they came down again, Mark was very glad to be back safely, and he said to his friend in a shaking voice, "Well, George, thank you very much for those two trips in your plane."
Gerogy was very surprised and said, "Two trips?"
"Yes, my first and my last," answered Mark.
乔治35岁时买了架小型飞机,并开始学习驾驶。不久,他就能很娴熟地驾机做各种各样的特技飞行了。
乔治有个朋友名叫马克。一天,乔治主动邀请马克乘他的飞机上天兜一圈。马克心想,“我乘大客机飞行过好几次,还从来没有乘过小飞机,我不妨试一试。”
升空后,乔治飞了有半个小时,在空中做了各种各样的飞行特技。
后来他们着陆了。马克很高兴能够安全返回地面。他用颤抖的声音对他的朋友说:“乔治,非常感谢你让我乘小飞机做了两次飞行。”
乔治非常吃惊地问:“两次飞行?”
“是的,我的第一次和最后一次。”马克答道。
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A woman walks into a pet shop and sees a cute little dog. She asks the shopkeeper, “Does your dog bite?”
一个妇人走进一家宠物店,看见一只很可爱的小狗。她问店主:“你的狗咬人吗?”
The shopkeeper says, “No, my dog does not bite.”
店主说:“不,我的狗不咬人。”
The woman tries to pet the dog and the dog bites her.
于是这个妇人试着抚摸小狗,可是小狗却咬了她。
“Ouch!” She says, “I thought you said your dog does not bite!”
“哎哟!”妇人说,“我想你刚才还说你的狗不咬人。”
The shopkeeper replies, “That is not my dog!”
店主人回答说:“那不是我的狗。”
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想用轻松愉快的心情来学习英语吗?下面读文网小编为大家带来英语幽默短笑话带翻译,希望大家喜欢!
Our teacher was telling us about a new system of memory training being used in someschools today.
我们的老师正在给我们介绍现在某些学校使用的一种新的记忆训练系统。
“It works like this,”she said. "Suppose you wanted to remember the name of a poet-Robert Burns,for instance.”She told us to think of him as Bobby Burns.“Now get in your head a picture of a London policeman,a bobby in flames. See? Bobby Burns!”
“这个系统是这样的,”她说。“假定你要记住一个诗人的名字一一例如,要记住罗伯特·彭斯的名字。”她告诉我们把他当作博比·彭斯。“让你的脑海里闪现出一个伦敦警察的形象,燃烧着的警察。明白吗?警察燃烧!”
“I see what you mean,”said the class know it all.“But how can you tell that it's not Robert Browning?”
“我明白你的意思,”班上的万事通说。“但是你怎么能说那就不是罗伯特·布朗宁呢?”
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笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”,在我们的日常生活中起着重要放松作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来经典幽默英语小笑话带翻译,希望大家喜欢!
Jack had gone to the university to study history, but at the end of his first year,his history professor failed him in his examinations,and he was told that he would have to leave the university. However,his father decided that he would go to see the professor to urge him to let Jack continue his studies the following year.
杰克在一所大学学历史。第一学期结束时,历史课教授没让他及格。学校让他退学。然而,杰克的父亲决定去见教授,强烈要求让杰克继续来年的学业。
"He’s a good boy,"said Jack’s father,"and if you let him pass this time,I’m sure he’II improve a lot next year and pass the examinations at the end of it really well.”
“他是个好孩子,”杰克的父亲说,“您要是让他这次及格,我相信他明年会有很大进步,学期结束时,他一定会考好的。”
"No,no,that’s quite impossible,"replied the professor immediately.“Do you know,last month I asked him when Napoleon had died,he didn't know”
“不,不,那不可能,”教授马上回答,“你知道吗?上个月我问他拿破仑什么时候死的,他都不知道。”
"Please sir, give him another chance,"said Jack’s father. "You see I'm afraid we don’t take any newspaper in our house,so none of us even knows that Napoleon was ill,"
“先生,请再给他一次机会吧。”杰克的父亲说,“你不知道,恐怕是因为我们家没有订报纸。我们家的人连拿破仑病了都不知道。”
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阅读英语笑话是我们放松的一种方式,下面读文网小编为大家带来幽默搞笑英语小笑话,欢迎大家阅读收藏!
On her return from school,little Dolly, aged ten,was pulled on to her Daddy's knee,and informed that the fairies had that day brought a big surprise-a little baby brother.She seemed glad,and presently said:
放学回到家里,十岁的小多莉被拉过来坐在她爸爸的膝上,她被告知那天仙女们带来了一个大大的惊奇—一个婴儿小弟弟。她似乎很高兴,马上说:
"Will you give me a stamp,daddy?I want to write and tell brother Tom.
“爸爸,你能不能给我一张邮票?我要写信告诉汤姆哥哥。”
The father was touched by this,and provided the little lass with the materials to write a letter to her brother,who was away at school.Later,curious to know how she would tell the news,he took an opportunity to read what she had written.He received something of a shock on reading the following:
父亲被这话感动了,他为小姑娘提供了给她哥哥写信所需的各种用具,她的哥哥住在学校里。后来,想知道她是怎么报告这个消息的,他找机会读了她写的信。在读到下面这两行字时,他差点儿惊呆了:
“Dear Tom,
“亲爱的汤姆:
It's come off today.You've lost;it's a boy.”
今天结果出来了,你输了;是个男孩。”
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“哪里有人,哪里就有笑声。”笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来三年级英语幽默小笑话带翻译,欢迎大家阅读!
I had iust learned to drive and, like most teen-agers,begged at every opportunity to take over the wheel. During a family vacation my father finally allowed me drive on a long,straight stretch on highway.I was in my glory until there was a sudden turn in the road.Caught unaware, I swung too wide and ran into a service station's advertising sign. I stopped the cat and waited for a lecture.
像大多数的青少年一样,我刚学会开车时,总想利用一切开车的机会。有一次家庭外出度假时,我经过请求,爸爸终于允许我在笔直的高速公路止驾驶。我感到十分荣幸,直到开到了一个急转弯,由于转盘转动得太大,车直奔着加油站的广告牌冲去。我停下了车,等着挨训。
My father,always considerate of his children's feelings,turned back to the rest of family and said. "As long as we're here,does anyone need to use the rest room?"
我的父亲总是考虑到孩子哟情绪,转过身对家里的其他人说:“既然我们已经把车开到了这儿,有人想上厕所吗?”
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笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。下面读文网小编为大家带来英语的幽默笑话带翻译,希望大家喜欢!
As I waited for my luggage at Atlanta's international airport,I noticed a government agent with a dog sniffing for illegal drugs among the crowd of arriving passengers. A woman next to me also saw the animal at work and noted That it was of mixed breed with long shaggy fur.“I thought those police dogs were supposed to be German shepherds,"she said.
在亚特兰大国际机场等行李时,我注意到一名政府官员带着一条狗。那条狗对所有到来的旅客的物品嗅来嗅去,以防止毒品入境。站在我旁边的妇女也注意到了这条在工作的狗是一条长毛的杂种狗.她说:“我觉得那条警犬可能是条德国的牧羊狗。”
Overhearing her comment,the agent replied,“He is, but he's working undercover.”
那名政府官员听到了这句话,回答说:“它确实是牧羊狗,但是它在做侦探工作.”
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笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来英语经典幽默笑话带翻译,希望大家喜欢!
Not long after my sister's wedding,one of my father's colleagues and his wife dropped in to see Mom and Dad.The guests had not been invited to the wedding, so when
the woman said,”I'm sorry I didn't get over to the church the other day,”Mom assumed she meant the church's Good Cheer Club Tea and Bazaar.
我妹妹婚后不久,我父亲的同事夫妇俩顺便来看我父母。这两个客人没被邀请出席婚礼。所以那位女士说:“真遗憾,那天我没有去教堂。”我妈妈以为她的意思是没有来参加喝彩俱乐部所招待的茶和甩卖活动。
"I'rn glad you didn't.”Mom replied.”You never saw such a mob scene!"
我妈妈回答说:“你没有来太好了,免得你看那片乱哄哄的景色.”
"I thought I'd like to see how everyone was dressed,"the guest said."What did you wear?"
客人说:“我原打算看看大家穿得如何,你那天穿的是什么?’,
"Just my old navy print and my oxfords,“said Mom,"and a good thing,too,as we cleared almost a thousand dollars. "
妈妈说:“就是那套老式的海军呢和我的牛津服呗。值得一提的是,我们挣了一千多块钱。”
"Did you take a collection?"the woman gasped.
“你们收了赠款了吗?”那位女士惊奇池问。
"Oh, no,“said Mom,"you know how it is,a lot of people come just to look and you don't make a thing out of them,so we decided to charge admission at the door.”
“噢,没有,”妈妈说:“你知道怎么着,许多人只是来看热闹,你从他们身上是分文也得不到的,所以我们决定收门票。”
At this point Dad realized signals were crossed,and he suggested to Mom that she explain that my sister's wedding had been neither a mob scene nor a profit-making venture.
说到这儿,爸爸觉得意思搞误会了。他建议妈妈解释一下,我妹妹的婚礼既不是哄乱,也没收取任何钱财。
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笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。下面读文网小编为大家带来经典英语幽默笑话带翻译,希望大家喜欢!
A woman complained that her husband constantly hung around the house,doing or saying nothing. To please her, he went to see a psychiatrist.“Just lie down on the couch and we'll talk. "the doctor told him. "If you think of something to say, fine. If not,maybe next time.”
一位妇女总是抱怨其丈夫在家里转来转去,无所事是,为了使老婆高兴,他找到了精神病学专家。“你就躺在沙发上,我们来谈谈。”精神病医生告诉他:“如呆你想起什么就说,没有的话,下次再讲也行。”
The guy got himself comfortable and fell fast asleep. At the end of the hour,the doctor woke hirn up and said,"That will be all for today—$100,please. "The patient paid and left.
这位男士舒适地躺在沙发上,很快就入睡了。到了一小时,大夫唤醒了他说:“今天就到这儿吧,请交100元。”病人付了钱之后就走了,从此,那个人每周三、四来就诊。每次,他总是一句话也不说,光是睡觉,而且每次都付钱。第三周,病人来后坐下,然后又跳了起来。
The man came back every Tuesday and Thursday after that. Each time,he fell asleep without saying a word,but paid the fee. The third week, the patient came in,sat down and then jumped right up again."Aha,", marveled the doctor. "Have you thought of something to say?"
“啊哈!”大夫惊喜道,“你想出要说的话了吗?”
"Yes,do you need a partner ?"
“是的,你需要一个助手吗?”
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